The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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