So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
