And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
