therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
