RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
