Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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