I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
