I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
