hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
