too bad you live with your parents still
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
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