I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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