I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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