I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Panties = found
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