Dude my mom stole all your condoms
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize