Who did Billy Mays play for?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
