if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize