who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
