My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
