Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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