It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
