I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
