Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
