Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The struggles of a small town man whore
Im part way to drunk.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
