Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I wish there were birth control emojis
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize