we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
