I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
