I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
