I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
