Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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