babies were throwing up all over the place
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
