You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
