sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
