I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
