First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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