Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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