just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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