You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
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corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
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Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I party with great urgency now.
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