This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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