I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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