bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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