I want to make a zoo with you.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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