Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Randomize
