She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
