I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize