at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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