you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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