no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
