I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Vodka?
Forever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
