I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
