Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That's intense
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to have your abortion
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
