Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
