I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
