don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
