I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
