been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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