There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
you never un-have a 4some
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
