"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
