yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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