Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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