Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
