I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
