I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
