Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
