people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
