I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
PANTIES FOUND
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