I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Mom said you looked used
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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