im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
