am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
