Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
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