you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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