there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog