the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i woke up with socks on this morning
i didnt wear socks last night
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.