Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away