So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?