I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
