So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
