Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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