why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
