I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
