I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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