I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize